The Before Time.. Before the facial pain took over my life

DEAR MAX

I call the “before time” (of course, before March 2023.(and the facial pain mystery had begun). These days are a bit difficult to think about.

I had finally left my ex-boyfriend and had moved into a new apartment for the first time. I moved in at the end of 2020. It was so exciting to have my own space.

The first 3 years were just wonderful. I could do whatever I wanted to.

I could listen to my music freely. and without judgment. I could watch anything I wanted. I could even order a pizza at midnight if I was so inclined.

I would usually wake up at 6 and  put on the coffee. So I could relax and watch my favorite cable news program.

My favorite breakfast was frosted flakes with Skittles. candy.

I adored the company of Max and Maddie (maddie passed in 2022) and I loved chasing max around the apartment.

I had my car then and I.was able to drive and run errands on my own.

In the morning 🌄 I took great care to manage my unique hairstyle.

Even though I did not have facial pain then, I had not been able to work for most of my life. (due to depression and anxiety) so even though I was not going out the door for work. I treasured my new routine.

Since my days weren’t filled with doctors’ appointments or   calls to the insurance company or calls to doctors’ offices, I was free to put on my shorts and tennis shoes and go out for a nice brisk walk on the track that surrounding the apartment.

Sitting on one of the benches afterward, I would relax and watch the birds at the small pond.

Sometimes, I would take the book that I was currently reading 📚 and sit in the sunlight.

When it was dinnertime, I would normally eat a delicious 😋 frozen dinner! I had never learned how to cook so I loved them!

My favorites were spaghetti 🍝  and lasagna 😋  Hopefully for dessert 🍨  there would be cookies! I certainly did love cookies. The best cookies were from Publix deli. My favorites  were M and M, chocolate chip, peanut butter, and sugar!

Today, I would have to think back extremely hard in order to figure out when was the last time I was able to have such delicious food! ( And don’t forget sodas)

I believe that my last sugary birthday cake 🎂  might have been on my 46th birthday 🎂 2 years ago.

This quite simple life with its simple joys is something I certainly do miss.

I try not to think of these days too often 😕  but I am always reminded to enjoy these things and how wonderful life was when I had my health.