One of the worst things about this current flare-up of pain isn’t just the emergency rooms or the bad teeth. It’s the fact that I’m not to write much 😪 and I must tell yall I certainly do miss posting the daily prompts, fun stories and hopefully informative articles, plus I get a lot of joy out of writing as well. I really wish I knew just when or even if this current flare will end
Until next time,
Have a blessed week
Anna and Max 😺
Dear readers,
I don’t know about y’all, but I certainly have ‘pill fatigue’. Y’all know those brightly colored things that come in a prescription bottle, those things that kind of remind you of little pieces of candy.
Every day when I have to take mine, I like to imagine that they are brightly colored skittles, y’all know, the tiny candy that comes in all kinds o
of flavors.
If any of you have ever been on a strict pill regimen for anything, then you will be familiar. If not, that’s okay.
When I came back from the emergency room last week, I had two more ‘candy’ pills to add to my collection. The doctor there prescribed oxyxontin (believe it or not) for facial pain, as well as some ketorolac (which is prescribed as an anti-inflammatory for severe pain).
I took this in the hospital as well as morphine. They really pulled out the big guns.
So, unfortunately, I have to add these to my collection of colorful ‘candy’-coated misery that doesn’t work!
Sadly, the doctor at the emergency room was quite rude and didn’t listen. I kept mentioning that strong pain medication as well as anti-inflammatories do nothing for my pain.
I’m thinking, ‘No offense, lady, but I wish I knew what would work.’ Why won’t you listen and suggest something that might?’Why don’t you just stop prescribing useless.pills?’
As some of you might know, when your doctor prescribes a new pill, the side effects can sometimes be worse than the so-called cure
My medicine cabinet is already overflowing! No more useless pills, please 🙏
My psychiatrist is mad at me, too! She keeps wanting me to try new pills 💊 and I keep telling her, “No, thank you, I am already on five!”
So, in conclusion, dear readers, I have pill fatigue.
I don’t want any more to add to my ‘Candy Collection,’ except maybe some Valium (another psychiatric suggestion) because it might possibly relax the muscles in my face and jaw leading to some possible pain relief 😮💨
If y’all don’t really understand, that is cool; I just thought I would throw this out there!
Thanks so much, dear readers and subscribers. Have a wonderful day.
Anna and Max The Cat 🐈 😻
If you had to give up one word that you use regularly, what would it be?
Hmm, let me think 🤔 stop saying a word that I use regularly. I would really enjoy giving up the phrase “I’m fine”
I use this phrase quite frequently when speaking 🔊 with others, even if the phrase is not true at that particular time.
I tend to be a person who tells folks what they want to hear rather than the actual truth. Unfortunately, it just seems a little easier to do things that way. 😕
Just out of curiosity, does anyone else do this sometimes?
Letter to Max
Dear Max,
Being in the emergency room last week sure was not fun 😕 especially when it appears I came out worse than when I went in 😪
My initial reasons for going were not for my facial pain (because I knew there was nothing they could do for that) or for my stomach issues, something that I have also dealt with for most of my life (severe Ibs with constipation) They were for weight loss, fatigue and some female issues
After being home now for three days since being under observation for two days and admitted for two days, I only discovered a few things
One, I can become hypoglycemic quite quickly, after my very first low blood sugar attack, in which my sugar was 57, and I felt as though I was going out of my body. 😪 and through the ceiling (extremely new and frightening feeling) 🫣
Two, the “new pain pills the doctor gave me (more opiates) morphine and oxytocin have made me so constipated that I still can not eat at all. They also do not relieve the facial pain 😪
Three, take heed when the staff says you have an ileus ( the intestines stop working properly leading to a blockage in the digestive tract) vs having severe constipation because having a tube put down your throat and into your stomach while awake is quite excruciating as well as, in my case, quite. unnecessary.
Four, I did consume my first actual “meal” in likely years. It was a creamy and gooey CHEESE OMELET with some breakfast potatoes 🥔 I don’t remember when I have tasted something, so yummy 😋
I also consumed my first real sugar in some dannon yogurt 😋 and some fruit 😋 it tasted like heaven 😋
Five, Unfortunately, however, in doing so, I was reminded how much these foods trigger pain flare-ups and was again reminded that these things should never be consumed again. 😢
Now, I have been home for three days, and my stomach is much worse (i.e., I am unable to eat a bite), and the reasons I initially went in, the unexplained weight loss, the extreme fatigue, and the female issues are no different.
I have not been able been able to to cleanse my stomach of any waste products whatsoever since I left the hospital 😪
Laxatives and fiber do not work for me. and I am beginning to fear having to go back and developing an actual ileus (for which you need surgery, and that was the reason for the stomach tube)😪
Why couldn’t they have corrected this when I was there? It’s been a really rough two weeks. I just pray things might get better 🙏
Meowmmy ❤️
What does your ideal home look like?
My ideal home 🏡 would definitely be a little cabin in the woods, surrounded by trees 🌳 with a freshwater stream flowing nearby. and a small screened in front porch with a swing and some comfortable chairs 💺 so I could sit outside and watch the sun rise with my morning coffee ☕️
The cabin would also have a fireplace, so it would be extra cozy in the fall and the winter.🥰
I would only need a few rooms 😀 just a bedroom, bathroom, living room, and kitchen. However, even though it would be simple and rustic, I would still like to have modern conveniences 😀
On the windows 🪟 would be flower 🌼 boxes full of flowers of all kinds 😀 and outside, I would have a rose 🌹 garden as well as a small space for growing vegetables like tomatoes 🍅 and carrots 🥕
This would be the perfect 👌 place for my space 😀
Why do you blog?
I like to blog 😊 because I hope to make a few folks aware of the issue of having chronic pain. Hopefully, I might be able to help someone as well 😀 and perhaps make a friend 😀
What’s your favorite time of day?
My favorite 😍 time of the day or “night” is in the wee hours of the morning 🌄 when I am unable to sleep 😴 Sometimes, I am able to hear the distant sound of a low mournful train whistle in the distance if I listen 🎶 hard enough.
Max (the cat) cuddled up in his fluffy rainbow 🌈 bed, snoring softly beside me. The glow of the TV flickering in the background ✨️ A light rain shower 🚿 tapping outside the window 🪟 A gentle breeze blowing through the palm trees 🌴 🌳 It is quite peaceful 😀 and gives me a feeling of warmth and security 😀
I have been doing some research lately because I was curious if there are therapists who specialize only in chronic pain. When I went to reddit, I saw a post 📫 where someone had mentioned a doctor like that.
However, when I went to youtube, I didn’t see anything similar.
It appears to “my knowledge” that there isn’t any therapy specialty that is chronic pain specific or living with chronic pain specific.
I also asked my psychiatrist, and she said she had never heard of this either,so I suppose the lady on reddit was misinformed.
While it is certainly true that a regular therapist can help you with your depression and anxiety surrounding the issue, I myself believe it would be quite difficult to find a therapist who really understands the condition
As an example, I worked with a licensed clinical social worker about a year ago, but only for a few sessions. I, of course, told her all about the condition, but even so, it seemed by her conversation that she just could not understand the concept of being in pain all the time.
I had mentioned to her that many simple things are difficult for me due to the condition. As I continued, she seemed to have not particularly like what she had heard, so instead of asking if I possibly needed a medical nurse for help, she threatened to call a mental health agency instead.
This was certainly quite unfortunate 😕
So, in conclusion, it appears there are no therapists who only deal with chronic pain. Perhaps I am wrong, but to my knowledge, I dont know of any.
However, possibly by trial and error, you can find one who understands and is caring about your condition.
Hi, my name is Anna, I am in my 40s, and I suffer from chronic pain in my face. Unfortunately, it has been going on for years.
In this journal, I write about my unsuccessful trips to doctors, my frustrations, and my fear as well as provide some informative information, some quirky daily promts some cute stories as well as some serious ones all with the hope for a normal life again one day.
Currently, after my last neurologist appointment, I still have not been diagnosed. At this point, after suffering for so long, the constant pain has worn me down. I am no longer able to do most activities,
I am not able to drive anymore, so I have lost my independence. I have lost my individually as well, and I grieve for all these things. At this point it has become so disabling that I am not able to eat, or really take care of myself, I am in and out of the emergency room, and concerned that I will be removed from my current apartment and sent to a nursing home without Max the cat 🐈
Any type of chronic pain is a real condition and one of the number one reasons people visit their doctors. I hope you, as the reader, are able to understand this issue better and hopefully be able to sympathize with others….
Thank you 😊 for visiting, and please feel free to subscribe!
Anna and Max the Cat 🐈
Describe your life in an alternate universe.
My answer isn’t very interesting or imaginative, but in my alternate universe, my health would be completely restored, The entire new universe would be covered with flowers, gardens butterflies, and trees 🌳 always beautiful, peaceful and calming 😊
Here, there is only one human who is surrounded and all kinds of talking animals 😀 and we would spend our days running, playing, laughing, and cuddling together ❤️
I have been searching for more chronic pain explanations here on YouTube lately. I didn’t really want to get to a really depressing side of the issue, but of course, this can be for all serious illnesses, but this is what happens to a great deal of chronic pain patients. It’s actually interesting, though. It mentions how badly many chronic pain patients have been treated by doctors (which has been my experience). I have mentioned several of the things in my posts that they talk about here, such as loss of relationships, fear of flare-ups, and other concerns 😟 She also speaks about pain medications
Dear Max, sometimes I get really low about things. I don’t mind living alone at all. In fact, I rather enjoy it. It’s quite peaceful and quiet, I try to keep my spirits up, but on the days that I feel like im sinking into a bit of a depression 🫥 I sure wish you could talk.
Meowmmy
When we left off, Max and Anna were walking down an isolated train track 🛤 in the Smokey Mountains of Tennessee. They had disappeared 😕 into the fog 🌁 searching for their next adventure.
Once the fog had dissipated, and the sun’s 🌞 rays began to shine through the thick mystic green mountains, ⛰️
Max and I were getting hot and tired. We both sat down on the wooden slats of the railroad tracks. 🛤’What are we going to do now, Max?’ We have been walking on the tracks for so long now without seeing a single thing.
Earlier today, we had both reached into our quilted magical knapsacks, and to our shock, they were empty. ‘We have to find some food soon,’🍔 Max nodded. I wiped the sweat from my forehead, and I sure could use a bath. 🌊
After we had rested, we both nodded in agreement that we should keep going after all.🛤
Even though we were hungry, it certainly was a beautiful day.🌤 The birds🐦 were chirping, the bees🦥 were buzzing, and the sky was a clear blue with white fluffy clouds as far as the eye could see.⛅️
No sooner had we gathered our knapsacks than we could hear a sound in the distance🛤 ‘Look, Max,’ I said, pointing to some water cascading down into small pools and gathering under the rocks. ‘It must be coming from the top of the mountain.’🌳
Just then, the clouds began to thicken into a misty white fog that shimmered in the summer sun.🌞 Up ahead, the sweet, succulent smell of yellow and white honeysuckle blossoms
We followed the glorious scent until we finally reached a bridge, which led to the mouth of a cave, we both peeked inside. ‘Max, this looks like something out of a fairytale,’ I said aloud. We cautiously stepped onto the bridge, and as soon as we did, a refreshing waft of cool air began to surround us.
Down below was a deep, crystal-clear, blue-green lake. Up above, there were stalactites of shimmering, clear white quartz. As we got closer to the other side of the bridge, we saw more stalactites. Stalactites of every color of the rainbow: purple, pink, blue, and white.
they shined just like rubies or emeralds. What is this place? “I said aloud to Max, I’ve never seen anything like this.
Once we reached the end of the bridge, we stepped onto a small island with the lake surrounding us. To our right and off to the side, we saw a small, old, brown wooden pier; we could hear it creaking and cracking with each lap of the blue-green water. Along with an old wooden rowboat that was tied to it.
“Hmm, odd that this is here,” I said out loud to Max. “I wonder where it came from?” “Let’s take a look.” We both cautiously stepped inside as the boat creaked and cracked beneath us. I rowed out towards the middle; it was then that we could see some very large fish.
Our mouths watered at the sight below. “Boy, I sure wish we could catch some. Perhaps our magical knapsacks will get their magic back if we have something to fill them with. I wonder how we can. Perhaps I’ll make a wish.”
The fish didn’t seem like boring old normal ones; they almost seemed human as we watched them jumping, splashing, and playing. They actually seemed to be laughing. “They sure are having fun, aren’t they?”
Not too long after that, I seemed to notice that my knapsack felt much heavier. “How about yours, Max?” He nodded. “Perhaps my wish came true.”
Our stomachs were growling, so we opened the bag, and inside, there were plates and plates of steaming, crispy fried catfish. There were even side dishes of fluffy homemade biscuits slathered in butter and big heaping cups of freshly picked green beans. “The knapsacks are magic again!”
All they needed was some rejuvenation, kindness, and love from this special place, just like we did when we first stepped inside.
With our bellies full, we gathered our things together. We could still smell the sweet scent of honeysuckle blossoms as we walked back towards the bridge. Above us, the stalactites and stalemates suddenly began to twinkle and shine as if they were happily telling us goodbye and wishing us luck on our journeys
We waved back sad to leave this magical magnificent special place.
See what happens if you just believe
Max nodded, jumped into arms, and we gave each other a huge hug
We went back across the bridge content and were happy and thankful for the help.
As we got to the mouth of the cave, we felt felt warm and fuzzy all over, just like being wrapped in the comfort and security of a familiar blanket.
When we stepped back outside onto the train tracks with our knapsacks now full of food, dusk had begun to fall in the mystic mountains. The sun was setting below in soft pinkish colors.
The fireflies were illuminating the sky with a golden light, and the cicadas were buzzing in the trees. The fog once again
began to creep in around us. I suppose we should find somewhere to sleep soon, as.we continued down the tracks we I said out loud.
We both turned around to take one last look and we couldn’t see the magnificence cave anymore! It must have disappeared I exclaimed, ready to reappear to the next set of weary travelers.
And we vanished once again into the fog.
PART ONE
Sometimes, when the pain 😢 is so excruciating, like today and all I can do is take deep breaths, praying that it will pass, as well as desperately trying to go to sleep with an ice bag, I make up stories “inside my head” in order to keep myself somewhat calm.😮💨 Sometimes, it works, but unfortunately, most of the time, it doesn’t 😕
One of the stories involves Max and me walking down what seems like an isolated railroad track 🛤 in the Smoky Mountains ⛰️ of Tennessee, under a bright glowing moon 🌙 and a soothing inky black sky. The night air smells sweet, and the fireflies glow around us. We look up and see what looks like a million twinkling stars. The misty fog hangs low over the green mountains. In the distance, we can hear the faint whistle of a lonely long-forgotten train as it echoes through the night 🌙.
As we continue walking, we can see some puffy grayish clouds ⛅️, and then it starts to rain softly. The falling water refreshes us and makes the grass all around smell freshly cut.
We each decide that we should look for a cozy dry place to spend the night 🌙. We are each carrying only small knapsacks, but they miraculously have everything we need.
We both head towards a long-abandoned overpass that has been overtaken by soft, leafy, bright green kudzu. After making an area for ourselves among the leaves 🍃 😌, we open our patchwork quilted knapsacks.
To discover our meal for the night 🌙 😋, I give Max generous helpings of rare roast beef cooked and dripping with spicy onion gravy. 🌰 The delicious smell wafts through the sweet night air 😋. As he begins to eat, I hand him plates of macaroni and cheese 🧀 with the cheese bubbling and sizzling on top until it is yellow and brown in color.
For the last course, I hand him plates of southern-style mashed potatoes 🥔 😋, smooth and thick and milky white with a layer of fresh yellow melted butter 🧈 on top, which melts in our mouths and dribbles down our chins.
After supper 🍽, we pull some old, weathered but comfortable sleeping 😴 bags from our pack. The thickening night air is cool but not cold, so we do not need a fire 🔥. I open my sleeping bag, and Max crawls in; he is fuzzy and soft, and we cuddle up together as more fog rolls in from the rain. We drift off to sleep, content, and happy with full bellies and another distant train whistle echoing through the air.
At around 5 AM, Max’s soft nuzzle awakens me. He motions that we should be getting on with our journey. The rain has stopped ✋️, and nature sounds fill the air; frogs and birds, cicadas abound, having been refreshed by the small shower 🚿.
We pack up our knapsacks slowly 🐌 because, after all, there really is no hurry. We don’t have any plans, and we don’t exactly know where we are going.
We climb back up onto the tracks with our knapsacks. We both nod at each other in agreement, and it isn’t too long before we disappear into the mountains surrounded by glistening white fog, hoping for more things to bring us peace and joy. 😄
Unfortunately, today is an especially bad pain day for me, and it has been quite difficult to write. However, I really enjoy it 😀 so I push on.
Now, I suppose I just have to get some rest and try some deep breathing exercises and use lots of ice. I dont think I can do the small chore of taking the garbage out today.
I must say however 😪 if only Dr. El-said had been able to prescribe something for pain, but unfortunately, pain medications like vicoden are so tightly controlled in Florida that even he can not prescribe them. 😪
I lived in Northern California for about 12 years. It was probably around 8 or 9 years ago ago, but I continue to marvel about how much easier it was to get pain 💊 medications when you had a real pain condition like I did back then also, It was not facial pain but a woman’s issue.
I suppose it was easier because there are a great deal of pain doctors back there. Instead of the only one here in my area.who I have already visited..
To all my readers ❤️ have a wonderful week.
Perhaps some of my readers have been prescribed B-12 shots for their vitamin deficiency’s If so, I am curious 🤔 if they helped?
On a personal note, I was prescribed a weeks worth of B-12 injections 💉 to administer here at home by my neurologist two days ago.
I was very concerned 😟 about side effects, especially ones that might affect my chronic pain 😢 but I decided to try a shot yesterday.
Luckily, the side effects weren’t too bad. I was desperate for something, anything that wouldn’t cause me to be so tired all the time. I was definitely happy when I seemed to get about a 15 – to 20-minute burst of energy that allowed me to do a few things 😌 around the house 🏠 except for most of the rest of the day I was still worn out.
I woke up this morning 🌄 horribly fatigued as I always do, and I am hoping for the same effect (a tiny bit of energy), so I gave myself another injection 💉
Unfortunately, today’s shot 😕 has had terrible effects. I feel more fatigued and in pain than I ever have. I have no energy whatsoever. I read online that the shots sometimes have a melatonin effect in which they make people horribly sleepy.
I had such high hopes for the shots! I really hoped they were going to help me with my extreme fatigue 😩
If any of my readers have ever taken B-12 supplements or injections, 🤔 how 🤔 did they make you feel?
Dear Max,
In short, the appointment did not go well at all. Exactly what I expected to happen, unfortunately, did.
I don’t suppose it is not necessary to write a long letter about what happened 😕 at the office, because it was quite simple and something that has happened to me with every doctor I have seen for my facial pain.
Dr. El-said said that he only treated Trigimina Neueolgia, and since the medication he gave me did not work, once again I heard the dreaded words, there’s nothing more I can do, I will refer you to a headache specialist and a Tmj surgeon 😪
Quickly on a side note, I did learn from the bloodwork that I got done at Quest Labs not too long ago, indicated a vitamin B-12 deficiency, so I was prescribed some B-12 shots to give myself at home. I hope that I will be able to administer those correctly.
Unfortunately, when I was weighed, my weight was 84 pounds and not 88 (so I have lost 4 pounds within only two months) 😫 I am not dieting. I am only constantly losing, and this has me very concerned 😟 It is unfortunately an indicator of a very serious illness 🤒 for months and months I have been researching other issues that could cause this symptom, unfortunately most all of them lead to one. (But I just keep telling myself it’s because of the pain that I am barely eating because when I do, the pain is excruciating) so im not getting many calories 😪)
But that is neither here nor there. Today is my birthday 🎂 and I was hoping and praying for some good news 🙏 for at least some pain medication when it just becomes too unbearable but unfortunately, it was not to be.
I am debating whether to completely give up or not. because I am just so tired 😫 because again I have to start all over and I dont know if i really want to do that.
For three years, I have been going to doctors, having all kinds of tests, everything with no result.
I am not quite as depressed this time about this as I was with the other doctors because, like I mentioned, it was expected, but it didn’t particularly make for a very good birthday 😪
Sincerly Meowmmy 😺
I am always afraid I will have a more painful flare-up, and I am usually right. Since Atypical Face pain is constant and never goes away. I am worried 😟 that the pain will become unbearable
Fear of pain flare-ups does make things quite difficult to accomplish. As the post above discusses, it is a very real anxiety 😬
On a personal note 📝 I suffer from this fear 😨 almost every day. In the morning 🌄 I am always concerned 😟
For example, today, I had some simple things to do. I needed to clean out Max’s cat box 📦 as well as take out the garbage 🗑 and wash some sheets and blankets. After I had done so, unfortunately 😕 I am now having some severe pain 😢 This is why I was afraid 😨 to do these things.
To be honest, things like eating have become more and more difficult 😕 I am always concerned 😟 that eating anything with cause a flare-up and I am usually correct. This is again worrisome because a lot of my energy seems to be fading.
Right ✅️ now, it is 4 pm Eastern here in Florida, and there are a couple of small things I still need to do, and yes, I am afraid 😨 I have a package 📦 which will arrive today, and I wonder just what will I feel like getting up to open the door? I also need to make some oatmeal for tonight’s possible dinner 🍽 and I worry 😟 about how just standing might make things worse. Oh, and I also need to put the clothes in the dryer. Things have definitely become harder as time has gone on, with yet still no definite diagnosis.
Symptoms can be easily triggered by very small activities. We are most always in a heightened state of fear of what we do.
Another thing the sufferer might do is grieve
Lonliness and chronic illnesses can sometimes intertwine themselves with each other.
If you have ever known someone who might be battling a chronic disease or perhaps you have had one yourself, then you will most likely be able to understand this situation.
Certainly, one of the things that leads the sufferer to a dark place is that after a period of time ⏲️ people can stop calling 📞 or even coming by for a short visit.
They may feel that after so many years they have become overwhelmed 😕 In the beginning, they were happy to offer a listening ear 👂 but as the sufferers illness showed no sign of stopping 😢 possibly it seems to them that they have given all they are capable of as far as support. In some ways, even though they love you, ❤️ they have their own lives to lead
In some cases, if the sufferer happens to be a woman 👩 it is a possibility for a husband or boyfriend to leave because they are tired of playing nursemaid. and they want to go on with their lives with someone they can actually do things with.
Perhaps the sufferers’ parents or grandparents or siblings live way out of state, and therefore, they are most likely left out of many holidays.
This can drive the sufferer into a deeper depression. Not only having the challenge of their illness to continde with everything but also having the soul crushing feeling that this abandonment is somehow their fault.
Also.feeling like there is nothing to look forward to anymore 😕
On a personal note 📝 along with the pain, I have taken strong medication for depression and anxiety for most of my life. At some point, after taking these meds for years and years, they began to stop working. Once that happens, you only take them as a necessity to prevent psychiatric drug withdrawal even though they no longer have any medical benefits.
A therapist can sometimes be a useful tool. However, in my experience, therapy tended to do more harm than good. The doctor had no empathy for what I was going through because she had never been in the same position.
Another thing the sufferer can naturally do is grieve and grieve for the things and activities and lives they once had. It can be quite difficult to come to the point of acceptance 😌
When a person is “tired,” sleep normally corrects the problem.
However, when a person is fatigued, it is a daily lack of energy that interferes with normal functioning and is not corrected by sleep.
LIVING WITH CHRONIC PAIN WITH ANNA AND MAX 