Today, I decided to post about something that did not involve doctors or pain.
MAX IN COLOR POP
One of my hobbies, before all these medical things began, was to take photos of all my kitties 😸 I really enjoyed editing them, and I loved the challenge of trying to make them perfect 👌 I can still take some photos once in a while. Which still brings a little pleasure to life.
These photos 📸 were taken with my phone a while back. I did not particularly feel the need to invest in an extremely expensive camera.
On May 22, I went to see my third neurologist, Dr. El-Said. Dr. El-Said prescribed some tegretal or Carbamazepine because I had mentioned to him that it was very painful to eat or to brush my teeth.
Dr. El-said then mentioned that this sounded like trigeminal neuralgia, possibly. He also said that the medication would work immediately for my pain if this was the issue.
I went home 🏡 and was quite doubtful. Unfortunately, I had reason to be. I took the medication 💊 and it did not work at all. The medication actually seemed to make the pain worse. Once again, I was so disappointed 😞 but unfortunately, this was something I was used to.
Unfortunately, once again, it seems that I am living in the movie Groundhog Day (where every treatment does not work).
Dr. El-said wants a couple more tests. Another blood test and another mri. Honestly, I do not know what doing more tests will accomplish (since I had already given him quite a great deal of test results), and unfortunately, Mris are expensive
Somedays, I even questioned myself, wondering if I am even on the right track. The only thing that I have been diagnosed with is spinal stenosis in my neck and upper shoulders by Dr. Jason Song (I have an entry further down about him) and the arthritis injections that he gave me)
Unfortunately, the spinal stenosis is also quite painful.. (perhaps I should move towards the arthritis route) It has also been told to me quite frequently that I need a headache specialist instead of a neurologist. During my own research for a “headache specialist,” I haven’t found one online at this particular time.
😪 Sadly, I feel quite tired 😫 of all these things as well as more confused as ever.
I will begin here in December 2023. I had a virtual follow-up visit with Dr. Luis Hurtado. Dr. Hurtado had ordered me to get a scan of my sinuses, so I had done that in November. Dr. Hurtado went over the scan, and unfortunately, the findings were acute sinus infection. I would find out later that this diagnosis was incorrect. I mentioned to him that the muscle relaxer called Baclofen that he had given me wasn’t working. Dr. Hurtado still viametly believed it was sinus, so he told me to go back to the sinus doctor and that there was not anything else he could do for me. I asked him if he could refer me to a pain doctor. Unfortunately, I am a bit foggy on his answer. However, I did not see a pain doctor afterward, so his answer must have been no. This was the end of Dr. Hurtado.. It was time for me to keep searching for help once again
I am going to send you more tests and possibly refer you to other doctors. Honestly, trigeminal neuralgia is usually easier to treat than atypical facial pain
Dear MAX,
Hello Max, who is currently hiding in his cat tree 🌳 because I had to give medication for his current bowel trouble.
On Tuesday morning 🌄 I saw yet another neurologist. The appointment took me quite a long time to get one of my twin helper girls who took me. They charge a fee, but that is alright. They have been lifesavers. I noticed that I had a tough time getting out of her car and also for the short walk to the office. (which is frightening)
The doctors name is Dr. Reefat El-Said. I honestly did not have much hope for relief from this doctor either, I felt like I was just going through the motions again. However, Dr. El-Said was quite thorough and asked a lot of questions 🤔 I also had a lot of information for him to go over.
I had “normal” bloodwork from the overnight stay in the hospital 🏥 I also had three MRIS (which were ordered by the “pain” arthritis doctor)
After Dr. El-Said had finished asking me questions about my condition, He questioned me about my weight, which unfortunately has been dropping. The doctor then examined me quickly and told me that I definitely still had TMJ on the left side of my jaw.
Fortunately, that’s when one of my symptoms came up, the mystery of why toothpaste, pills, or any kind of food aggravated the pain 😢
Suddenly, the three people in the room began nodding their heads 😳 They mentioned that this was a symptom of Trigimina Neueolgia. So, instead of prescribing Lyrica, he prescribed a low dose of tegretal.
Unfortunately, then came the words 😕 I dreaded. The doctor said he was going to send me for more tests and that he did not have a diagnosis for me now. When I heard those words, I felt sick to my stomach because I had heard them so many times before.
Dr. El-Said wants me to come back in six weeks, which is actually on my 49th birthday with the tests finished
The doctor ordered another Mri.this time of my lungs. As well as a specialist blood test.. If he found nothing, he was again going to refer me to someone else
I felt the same sinking feeling 😕 of defeat when we left the office. As I have so many times before. The unfortunate feeling of complete hopelessness.
How do you deal with guilt 😔? Especially when it involves your furry friend. I would advise against looking up the symptoms on google that your furry friend is exhibiting. Doing so can certainly cause more worry than necessary. Especially if you are an excessive worrier or have a lot of anxiety.
Also, when you have chronic pain, stress seems to make things a lot worse and the pain a lot stronger.
I call the “before time” (of course, before March 2023.(and the facial pain mystery had begun). These days are a bit difficult to think about.
I had finally left my ex-boyfriend and had moved into a new apartment for the first time. I moved in at the end of 2020. It was so exciting to have my own space.
The first 3 years were just wonderful. I could do whatever I wanted to.
I could listen to my music freely. and without judgment. I could watch anything I wanted. I could even order a pizza at midnight if I was so inclined.
I would usually wake up at 6 and put on the coffee. So I could relax and watch my favorite cable news program.
My favorite breakfast was frosted flakes with Skittles. candy.
I adored the company of Max and Maddie (maddie passed in 2022) and I loved chasing max around the apartment.
I had my car then and I.was able to drive and run errands on my own.
In the morning 🌄 I took great care to manage my unique hairstyle.
Even though I did not have facial pain then, I had not been able to work for most of my life. (due to depression and anxiety) so even though I was not going out the door for work. I treasured my new routine.
Since my days weren’t filled with doctors’ appointments or calls to the insurance company or calls to doctors’ offices, I was free to put on my shorts and tennis shoes and go out for a nice brisk walk on the track that surrounding the apartment.
Sitting on one of the benches afterward, I would relax and watch the birds at the small pond.
Sometimes, I would take the book that I was currently reading 📚 and sit in the sunlight.
When it was dinnertime, I would normally eat a delicious 😋 frozen dinner! I had never learned how to cook so I loved them!
My favorites were spaghetti 🍝 and lasagna 😋 Hopefully for dessert 🍨 there would be cookies! I certainly did love cookies. The best cookies were from Publix deli. My favorites were M and M, chocolate chip, peanut butter, and sugar!
Today, I would have to think back extremely hard in order to figure out when was the last time I was able to have such delicious food! ( And don’t forget sodas)
I believe that my last sugary birthday cake 🎂 might have been on my 46th birthday 🎂 2 years ago.
This quite simple life with its simple joys is something I certainly do miss.
I try not to think of these days too often 😕 but I am always reminded to enjoy these things and how wonderful life was when I had my health.
Dorothy goes to see a doctor about her illness, and this is what he says to her. He does not believe she is sick.
I Dont know where you doctors lose your humanity,but you lose it, you know if all of you could get very sick and very scared at the beginning of your careers, for a while, you’d probably learn more from that more than anything else. You better start listening to your patients they need to be heard. They need caring, they need compassion, they need attending to.
You know, someday, Dr Bud, your going to be on the other side of the table,and as angry as I am and as angry as I always will be. I still wish you a better doctor than you were to me.
Sadly, these are just simple tasks that most people do and rarely think about, such as standing in front of the mirror every morning and brushing your teeth, i bet folks just dont think much about that as it is a routine chore.
However, I have to (schedule) around my pain to do that simple thing… sometimes the pain is so bad that i just cant do it for that day.. I feel horribly unclean and it has been affecting my teeth.
Also, when folks do routine chores around the house.. such as taking out the trash, or straightening up, making the beds, doing the dishes… its something folks just do..
Some days im not able to get out of bed.. so these simple things dont get done.
And especially if you have a pet.. they become harder to take care of even of it was easy before. And you tend to feel so guilty about it.
Also, having meals, this is just sometjing we must do every day. Theres not much to it. However for me (sometimes) i do not grt to eat all (because most foods affect my pain level (to the point of tears)
Unfortunatly my pain level today is a day i want to cry… but im usually not able to do that either.
So, I decided that I would make another quick effort to try for some help. I just called the Orlando
and Spine Institute. Unfortunately, once again, they do not take my insurance.
Honestly, I expected to get that answer. The receptionist once again told me to call my insurance company.
Sadly, as I have searched for doctors over the years, I have gotten this response many times
Unfortunately, this is what you have to do here in this country. You must first get your insurance company’s approval before you call a doctor. If they say no, then you call another doctor, and so on an so forth.
If they say yes, then you must call your primary care physician and make an appointment with him in order to get a piece of paper called a refferal. If the doctor isn’t able to help then you repeat the process over and over again.
Everytime i get turned down by an insurance company I feel so helpless.
I believe that I need a place that deals with the spine and facial pain. I believe they are all connected
The pain doctor, I finally found a few months back was misleading. I thought he could do something for facial pain. When I had my first appointment, he did not correct me when i asked. I asked if he injected botox for pain. He answered by saying “who offered you botox” He found out i had spinal stenosis (arthritis in my neck and back).
When he gave me my first injection I still had hope for my face. However, I was highly disappointed.
I received a second steroid injection 💉 (which are painful) about a week ago.
The two injections did absolutely nothing. (They didn’t help my arthritis much either)
There is no cure for arthritis injections are sometimes used but it isn’t a guarantee they will help.
Unfortunately 😔 he was again quite misleading because I hoped so much that he could help my face. So most likely I won’t be back.
As, I mention here in the video. I have done a lot of research on my own. I do take five psychiatric medications. I have read where certain medications are supposed to at least alleviate some of the agony.
Lamictal was one. Which I am already on a low dose, but I’ve been on it for years and if it was going to work..I think it should have by now.
Also a low dose of Cymbalta (30) mg However Cymbalta is one of the hardest drugs to come off of.. so I don’t need the medication. I just can’t get off of it. But it is one that is supposed to help also.
All of these doctors that I have seen over the years well some have pushed gabepentin on me. I have been on it before. But the dose you must take is greater that 700 milligrams and unfortunately everything hurts my face. Every psychiatric medication I take. So it would just be intolerable to try.
my psychiatrist has been very nice. She keeps wanting to try something that might work..but all I usually end up with is another bottle of pills that we have tried.
perhaps this isn’t Atypical face pain. Perhaps it’s some type of rare headache. I know there are cluster headaches that are supposed to cause the worst pain known to man. And there is also a rare headache that apparently never goes away.
if only the neurologist in the hospital could have told me something to try.
but I’m thinking I don’t know how many more psych meds I want to try. Especially if they aren’t the right medication for me.
i would like to say.
i am so sorry if you have chronic pain as well. I can’t even explain how excrusing the pain is. I really didn’t think pain like this could exist. I really didn’t
About two months ago, I was in the emergency room again. This time, i stayed overnight. It was quite frightening 🫣 being alone in the hospital 🏥
However, I had to gather my inner strength 💪 and fight the fear 😨
Dr. Jason Song “The only pain doctor I have ever been to) had me get an MRI of my brain. My neck and spine and my mouth.
Unfortunately, the previous couple of weeks, I had been in Dr. Songs office when he read the report on my 🧠 brain. The report showed that there was something on my brain called a menginoma. I was terrified 😨 and I started crying in his office.
Dr. Song offered no sympathy, only telling me to get another Mri. My mother died way back in November of 2000 of an incurable brain tumor. So I panicked 😪 all this and now a possible brain tumor.
I did not want to be rolling around in this bed thinking I had a brain tumor 😫 (you have to go to an outside lab called Simonmed for another scan) and Simonmed couldn’t take me for another couple of weeks. 😒
A few days later, I was so weak I decided to try and drink a little bit of ensure for some protein (as of today, June 8th)
I have had no meat for two years, and I am definitely suffering the effects. Unfortunately, the ensure has 10 percent salt 🧂 so I should have known I shouldn’t drink it. (But It was at a catch-22) 😬
Suddenly, the most excrusing pain came over me after I did so. I grabbed my head and hit the floor in agony. 😪
I had no desire to go to the ER, especially by ambulance, but I had no other way to get there. 😪 because I am horrified and frightened when I have to call an ambulance 🚑
I was afraid 😨 it was this legion on my brain, causing the pain. The pain seemed different.
When I got there, the doctor said that these legions were always non-cancerous. I can’t tell you how relieved I was.
He wanted me to stay overnight so that we would get another Mri, and then a neurologist would come see me in the morning 🌄
As soon as he left and I tried to explain what type of pain i had, no one knew what I was talking about as usual..
So, I was given medication for migraine and nausea, which only made my pain expanitally worse.😪, so I lay there on the gurney, silently crying to myself with the familiar ice bag I had brought from home 🏡 I felt like I was in the twilight zone
Before I went upstairs, a technician came into my room to ask me if I had brought any pills 💊 with me.
Unfortunately, I knew that I was going to have to tell a lie about this question 😕 I hesitated for a second, and then I said, “No.” I don’t particularly like to lie, but in this case, it was necessary.
The hospital 🏥 had a rule about this issue, but even so, I had all my psychiatric pills 💊 in my purse. The hospital staff would have taken all the pill bottles and would have never given them back to me, I could not risk that.
After several hours between wake and sleep and a racing mind, someone came to take me upstairs
When I entered , I sat in my wheelchair ♿️ with my icepack still on my face. I noticed that this was a double room, and I could hear a large family group laughing 😃 and carrying on. I felt a little sad 😔 and a bit lonely 🙁 but I knew like all my other appointments. If I just gathered my courage, I could do this by myself. However, I really missed Max and was worried about him.
As far as I could remember, we had never an entire night away from each other.
(I believe this is a better explanation of what facial pain is, which I got from the Facial Pain Association)
Unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be too much support that a person is able to get from them. The organization is more for collecting research money. The last line has a lot of meaning “The journey to diagnosis and hope can be a long and winding road”
Facial pain refers to pain experienced in any part of the face, including the eyes and mouth. This type of pain can vary in intensity and character, ranging from sharp or dull to throbbing or achy. It can also be acute or chronic and caused by either nociceptive or neuropathic factors. In some cases, facial pain can be a long-term condition.
Facial pain can be a debilitating experience for many people, and there are numerous types of facial pain with a variety of possible causes. Precise diagnosis is crucial in determining an effective treatment. The journey to diagnosis and pain relief can be a long and winding road.
For four almost four years..I have been desperately trying to handle the cruel 😢 excruciating horrific undiagnosed facial pain. I have sat on this mattress for three years…all day… trying not to cry as I hold the heating pad or ice there..also I beg 😫 god (or whatever).for it to stop.
Things since I have written anything about it..are I still can’t eat..brush my teeth. I am extremely exhausted. I can move or take care of max.
Sometimes I do wish i wasn’t on this earth anymore because all i do id suffer . I have also started having some female problems that has been terrifying so who knows maybe I won’t ve
.and since I last wrote.i went to another sinus doctor (he said it was all tmj)
I went to the dentist three times…. one for my mouth guard. For 400 dollars. Another time for him to test for tmj… and try to fix it.. didn’t work..the last time.. he gave me some muscle relaxers for my jaw.. that solved nothing..so he says he needs to refer me to an oral.surgen
I had to find a primary care doctor which was another appointment not to long ago. For a referral to a pain specialist (that’s how things work in florida) yesterday I went to the pain doctor
He didn’t seem all that confident. But and now for another appointment he wants me to go get x-rays and mris of everything. He gave me no treatment yesterday. All.pain doctors postponed due to pain
I got 300 dollars for my car that I had to sell to the scrap yard. The other day, a vehicle that in 2004 I spent 9,000 for. To make it clear, it wasn’t repossessed. The apartment complex thought it was too ugly to sit in there lot, so they told me to either move it (which i couldn’t) or get rid of it. So I was forced to sell it.
I had a 1999 Toyota camry which I have had since around 2004. The car had low milage because it wasn’t driven much by me when it was in California or New Orleans (the ex always drove)
I can’t believe it’s gone. I had to make the decision quickly. It had been sitting in the apartment parking lot for a while.and it actually broke down a while ago. And of course, I am not able to drive (do due my chronic pain issue)
I got a notice from the apartment complex, which gave me only a few days to figure out what to do with it, or they were going to tow it.
I feel nervous without a car even though it would not run, and I can’t drive anyway.
I really do feel that the loss of that car that I’ve had for so many years that basically almost everything has been taken from me.
I could have lost max due to some serious medical issues that have been going on with him for the past few months. Due to this issue that no one can diagnose, I don’t have much more.left Just a.small apartment. (although a roof over my head is definitely something) However, a car is quite a large item to lose, especially because of pain 😢
Perhaps someday, if I get any better, I should have been allowed to keep it here in the parking lot.
I pay an exorbitant amount of rent to .stay here. But now it’s in the scrap yard. Unfortunately, I feel very nostalgic for it 😢
I faited or had a small seizure last night. It’s happened once before but it was months ago. I shouldn’t be happening at all. As I am not prone to these things. And is certainly terrifying if you are alone in the middle of the night. I felt it coming on.
As soon as I got out of bed. I started to stumble around. I couldn’t think. I felt tingly I felt cold and clammy and I was just staggering towards the bathroom 🚻
I staggered back as best I could and then went to the sink to try and wash my hands. It was then that I blacked out.
I have no idea how long my head was in the sink.. but it must have been a bit because my hair was all wet. I must have not been able to turn the water off.
Barely understanding what had just happened I staggered to the bed and that’s when I felt my bowels release. I thought that quite unusual for a faiting spell
But I had to sleep that way. I just couldn’t move or get up agqin.
So I have a short video here… of me in bed and a burn mark on my face due to the heating pad.. I am unfortunately a little hard to understand .. but I list the psychiatristic medicine that I still have to take despite all the other issues….
As for why are oral antibiotics the only solution.. this pain makes it impossible to know if I actually have a sinus infection so this time I am not sure. It seems rare that I actually have a sinus infection but I suppose it’s possible this time. I do have a stuffy nose… but that’s all so that’s why I never know if it’s an infection that’s aggregating the pain…I do however have a Long history of sinus issues…. but after taking so many antibiotics in the past as well as steriods and they never work… I am skeptical…
I suppose I will do what I always do..go to doctor on demand and try to explain the situation.. most likely I will get antibiotics again.. which my chronic constipation won’t even let me take… so it’s not really much of a solution… why aren’t iv antibiotics a solution? If I don’t need antibiotics they can do more harm than good.
Why isn’t there a better solution 🤔 I just don’t understand it?
So the psychiatristic medicine I take is.
Cymbalta 30 mg. Clonapeam 1 and a half mg.. trazadone 200 mg.. Lamictal 150 mg lunesta 2mg
So this FORCED DIET 😐 which still aggregates this pain is not much…
I’m down to no caffeine, no sugar, as little salt as I can find… there aren’t many products out there.. so
It’s no sugar yogurt
Bananas oranges sugar free cookies one or two empty tortilla shells…one in a while protein shakes (but a lot of salt) for a treat. Peanut butter and sugar free jelly sandwiches that’s about it…. um also no meat at all…it’s to salty… no Italian food.. no fruit with a lot of natural sugar. No soup..
I seems impossible (unless a facial pain solution is found that I will able to complete my dental implant work.
One of my back teeth towards the front was pulled in August 2023. Basically because I was in terrible tooth pain and was unable to get to an endontist (because I had no medical ride) which would have saved the tooth.
So it was pulled to stop the pain and thousands were put as a down-payment for a future implant. First I payed for the bone graft which was done. I was suppose to come back in December to recieve the actual permanent tooth.
But as the facial pain had gotten worse I am not able to sit in the dentist chair. So I have right now lost thousands and wish the facial pain would just let up so I could get my permanent tooth.. but it hasn’t so I have a hole in my mouth. I guess its lucky that the facial pain only allows me to eat soft foods. But I had having the hole there
As we lay in the bed. Me holding the ice bag on my face.. desperately trying to sleep and now not being able to watch TV anymore (it’s groundhog days) there is no day that is different anymore. 😪 now for over a year. I have just eaten some sugar free yogurt which makes the pain worse. And taken more laxatives as I desperately struggle to have any kind of bowel movement ( chronic constipation has also been going on for years) it is the same with this everyday. Holding the heating pad on my stomach trying to get some relief.
I also now have to take one of many psychiatric pills (which) I’ve been taking for years which now cause the chronic pain in my face to again become unbearable. Then I will get some more ice for the ice bag and lay down again.
Perhaps I have an interesting answer. (allergies due to weight and a dusty and not very clean environment for you or for me. (But back in April 2023 one of the many diagnosis he had was allergies but the environment was not mentioned as a possible cause)
You are wheezing on the cat tree at the window. But now after the past two weeks saga of vet’s (someone else had to take you) I cannot anymore. (as well you being as being given unsessary antibiotics again from my incompetence vet)
I desperately had to stramble the other day tonfind someone to take you to the emergency vet) a (horrific day) after your eyes suddenly started to water and I called my regular who said (that is a total emergency) I said a little eye Discharge) ? She says yes I’ve seen cats eyes pop out over that before) stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.. so there was complete panic with me. My God an emergency I have to get him there. (I found a lady to take him and of course (IT WAS NOT AN EMERGENCY)!!!
All that fear was unsessary and so scary
I’m wanting to get it cleaned up.. but feel concerned 😟 about strangers in the house 🏠 when I cannot get out of bed.
As I have just taken my anxiety pill amd what feels like complete blackness as I try to sleep makes me to terrified to let go. It feels as if I am dying everyday 😪
Since I have nothing to do but think for hours and hours I try not to remember how it was before this started… the first couple of chronic pain free years here.. when simple pleasures were abundant.. (such as waking up at 6 am to watch a news program with cups of coffee ☕️ (I cannot drink coffee anymore 😫
Didn’t want to go by ambulance at all. But the facial pain was so bad I wasn’t going to be able to sit and wait in the lobby.
Doctor didn’t know what exactly is causing the pain either.. I just was making another effort (just hoping for another option) besides having all these new doctors and complicationd referrals and pills Being thrown at me.
She took another CT. Didn’t see much infection but gave me an antibiotic shot anyway. The nurse gave me some morhine and something for the swelling and a perkasrt (which just only took the edge off the pain…
It seemed she did wish she could help. So this is strike four on trying to find an answer.
So instead of this weird rhinologigist in Tampa that the other doctor wanted me to go to. She wanted me to try another ear nose and throat doctor.. the emergency room doctors aren’t to up on whether the doctor is even still around or not. But with another strike down. It’s hard to keep getting the constant runaround and pills and antibiotics thrown at me.
I’m just so tired..
I’m just in so much pain. I will be going in the second year of this. I frankly don’t think it’s ever gonna stop. And if strong pain pills already don’t work??
So. For now we have chronic sinuses. Atipical face pain and the doctor mentioned another trimmic neurolga (I can’t spell it)
Also I still can barely stand and I’m desperate to sleep during the day. I’m just so weak also and noone can tell me why. That’s another large issue with this.
So thats what I did yesterday . Tried something else pointless all im doing is looking for so many doctors to stop my pain. Is that too much to ask? I suppose it is? I thought doctors didn’t want you be in pain and wanted to spend enough time with you to help you. I guess not
EVERYTHING THAT HAS BEEN DONE UP TO DECEMBER 8TH 2023…. NEUROLOGIST (GAVE ME SOME HOPE) SAYING IT WAS ATYPICL FACIAL PAIN) OR CHRONIC IDIOPATHIC FACIAL PAIN. WHICH IS NERVE PAIN IN THE FACE… NEUROLOGIST READS SECOND Ct.CT.. drops that diagnosis says he sees sinus issues. Today returned to sinus doctor for third time… reads CT. HE says nothing is serious with sinus. He referred me to a fourth doctor (a rhinologigis) who deals with the nose) but I feel it is nerve pain… and need a doctor desperately or somewhere else to go. This really may never end and I can’t live this way. (Or exist this way)
Update I will not be going to this rhinologigis doctor.. the sinus doctor didn’t care enough to inform me that the doctor is in tampa. About 80 miles away. Not only impossible but i don’t belive worth it. That seems the same as an ent. It seems all these doctors are just trying to pass me off to other doctors because they don’t know what this is.
VIDEO WILL PLAY IF NOT SEEN!
“What this excruciating pain has now caused me as far as complete disability..
I cannot stand for more than 10 or 15 minutes until I start to shake and get dizzy and my head feels like a Ballon and I have to sit down again. I cannot even do simple things that most people take for granted anymore. VIDEO WILL PLAY IF NOT SEEN.!
Deat Maddie: I HAVE A VIDEO FOR YOU ❤❤❤ VIDEO WILL PLAY IF NOT VISABLE
Maddie. It seems like just yesterday I was closing the apartment door 🚪 on your final ride to the vet. I had to stop myself from crying as I said to you “Come on Maddie. It’s time to go to Heaven” 😪
We think of you often. We miss you. 😢 AND I KNOW WE WILL ALL DWELL IN THE HOUSE OF THE LORD FOREVER.
My second worst nightmare came true. Last Friday. The one where I needed to figure out somehow to get you to the doctor. The one that whirls around and around in my head all day and everyday. Because I can no longer can drivedrive.
But it’s now been over a week since he got an 100 dollar 💵 antibiotic shot for what was not entirely diagnosed because he peed all over everything before me and the “price gouging” “medical” transportation that I have been having to use got there. So I had to pay for a 400 blood test. But I know he probably had one because he urine smelled foul. I keep the box clean everyday, so I have absolutely no clue how he could have gotten one. It just is another “strange” out of the blue illness that has no basis in understanding.
But now over a week later the constant worrying and Watching him every minute. Looking in his little box all the time. Being concerned that he still isn’t acting like himself. Is making my meger existence just more unbearable.
I actually just am unable to wrap my head around how serious this situation could have been. And actually he was acting strange and I’ll for a few weeks. Thank God (and I really mean it) that I finally noticed the extreme ammonia smell and looked up to find that wasn’t normal. (I actually didn’t know)
The truth of it really I just can’t comprehend because most likely he had the infection for a while and it was turning more and more serious. Urinary tract infections are extremely serious especially in male cats. They can get a blockage and not be able to pee at all (and the truth is if it gets to that point it can be fatal) or they would need immediate emergency surgery tonsave their lives that’s always been a surprise to me (but it’s really true)
Two years ago, Max came close he had a more serious Uti. And that’s when I wasn’t in pain like this and my unreliable neighbor was still here. She was reliable one time and drove us the 40 miles there and back to the emergency vet. If she hadn’t I don’t know what might have occurred
He is still constantly wheezing though. Its horrible for us both. 😢 why does he keep getting SICK? meowmmy thinks ITS QUITE A COICENDENCE.
LIVING WITH CHRONIC PAIN WITH ANNA AND MAX 